I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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