went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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