I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
