I need help removing her.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
