birth control should be required to get into college
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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