This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
