Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize