My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
