a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize