watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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