There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
