My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
wow bdsm is so cute
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
