I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize