mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
