i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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