I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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