I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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