Are we in a gay sports bar?
he puts the penis in happiness.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
