At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
