I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
