Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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