i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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