question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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