??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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