i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
