We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
