how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
