Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
