HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
