Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
