DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
