We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
