We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
