well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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