I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
