Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
