And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
