I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
