Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
