I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
