You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
