i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
