Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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