Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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