I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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