Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
