I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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