i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Never joke about your clitoris.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
