Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We're not piercing ourselves today.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
