Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize