ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
