Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
