I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
