If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
