Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
