Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
