So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
