Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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