Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize