so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize