I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
