hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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