some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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