Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
